Live, Love and Laugh. :D

Saturday, August 15, 2015

Chicken and Pulao life. Oh sorry, I meant, PILAF.

Seriously now, my existence in the blogosphere is a shame. I've been updating my blog ANNUALLY, what even am I doing with my life.
Well, I guess that is the point of my post which I write on a gloomy Saturday afternoon. What on earth is up with me?
I promise you I'm not trying to be a super cool blogger who would grace you with my presence and tell you about what I ate for lunch. I am well aware of the fact that you do not care about that. (Chicken and Pulao for lunch, fyi :P)

Anyhoo, for starters I finally graduated from school! I gave my final exams, I fared well in my results and I am currently pursuing Political Science Honours from Delhi University. Bring in the applause please. Tell me I am cool. (I'm acting needy since I tanked in my law entrances, my distant dream..)
My travel to college includes 16 metro stations and 40 minutes of sheer impatience. But, it is something I have gotten used to now. I like to rant for the sake of ranting, so bear with me.
After being in a co-ed school for 14 years, I landed up in a girl's college and it feels strangely liberating at times. The mantra to survive my Bachelor's degree is '3 years, 0 men and 1 degree'. xD
But we still eye cute guys in the distance while drinking milkshakes in Kamla Nagar. *sigh* I should probably stop now. I tend to get carried away.

Remember the time people around you said, 'Oh, things would change a lot after school ends! Your friends, your priorities, your lifestyle. But hey, you'll get used to it' and you'd shrug off their comments by saying 'My life will be just the same after school, so will my friends and my priorities because I am cool like that yo!'. Do not, I repeat, DO NOT think that your life will be the same after school ends because that is not true. People who you'd hang out with every single minute of the day would soon come under the category of 'out of sight, out of mind'. Yes, you'd meet them now and then and your friendship will always be special to you. But, after one point, your relationship with them would be frequent and short conversations on WhatsApp. However, do not feel dishearted and think that your life will go into seclusion, there would always be that special set of friends from school and those days who would cease to forget you.

I am still not sure which direction this post is headed towards, I do not want to sound like some know-it-all senior citizen giving everyone a sermon about life but I just feel like sharing how my life faced a complete transition in the past few months.

In 2015, I have learnt so much about myself. I have explored so much of new music, literature, culture and food. I have been around my city like never before. I feel like a new person altogether. I remember the night before college began, I was panicking about a number of things pertaining to what lies ahead. Admist of all the chaos, I looked at myself in the mirror. There was a calming moment of clarity. I looked at myself and thought, it does not matter what happened in the past, it is not in my hands anymore. But what happens NOW and ahead is. In that moment, I promised to myself, 'From tomorrow onwards, I would never be the same person again'. I cleared my slate and I awaited the numerous memories and times I was yet to encounter. Today, I am drenched in the beauty of my chaotic life. I could not have asked for anything more or less. I am the same girl many knew, but not quite.
It is never too late to give yourself a second chance at how you want your life to be. Smile often, be happy, fall in love, do the things which you'd never imagine yourself doing. You and I have no idea about what tomorrow holds. Onwards and upwards, it's a good time to be alive :)

Kal pe sawaal hai, jeena filhaal hai.

I cannot promise my regularity, but thank you guys for being around anyways.
All my love :*

Thursday, August 21, 2014

Of memories and more, I'm back! :)

It's been 1 year, 5 months and 1 day since my last blog post. I hope you all still remember my existence! :)
Joyee's back in the game after a tremendously long hiatus!
Now there's a reason why I chose to write today. I guess now's the time to vent it out for good, and hey! What's better than writing about it? :D (Let us ignore the fact that I am in 12th grade now and I should ideally be studying :P)

Well, 2014 has been a strange year. Remembering the 8 months which flew past me is an overwhelming experience, a whirlwind of emotions. I can't help but notice the tear rolling down my eye right now too. *sneakily wipes off a tear*
The most integral part of 2014 has been the amount of confusing times I've been through. Yes, there were gains and incredibly happy moments which I would want to relive everyday of my life. But, all that I've seen slipping out of my fingers this year, has taught me lessons which I would carry with me throughout.
I've loved and trusted many, a few of them left me in an unknown space of complete oblivion when they suddenly chose to walk out on me.
I've inspired myself to believe and go on with the different rhythms of life, but sometimes, all my beliefs and all the strength I gather in myself, seem to disappear leaving no trace of their existence behind.
I've lost some very special people I've known. Few of them still lurk around with their presence in my life, and a few of them are in their heavenly abode ever since god decided to take them back.
All these 'incidents' made me question everything and everyone I know. There was a time when I was caught up in this completely unknown dark space of chaos in my head, and I did not find any way out. All I did was hope, but hope isn't always very friendly to us.

Her eyes, moist with tears
Her face, red with unknown fears
As she lived and constantly battled the universal force,
All the strength she had ran out, left a heavy residue of remorse.
The dawn of reason, the courage to fight
Always stayed in the back of her mind
But was all this suffering for no apparent reason worth it?
An answer to that question, she could not find.

Things which make you go weak in the heart, things which break you down would keep bombarding you on a daily basis. After one point, you would condition yourself to the struggle.
But, I guess this struggle is what makes you complete. It makes you the person you should be to face this world full of adversities. These adversities would not make sense sometimes, you would never be able to figure why and how some things happen to you. Amongst the mist of chaos life throws you into, there would always be a silhouette of reason. Sometimes, you don't need to look for this reason. Maybe it'll come right in front of you someday or maybe it'll just choose to subtly exist behind the mist.

So here's a big shoutout and super cuddly hug to everyone who is, has or will be going through a difficult phase in their lives. I am not counselling you on the fact that things will be alright and neither am I trying to tell you about what I was going through previously. I just want you guys to know that YOU are not and never will be alone. This world is a vast space of endless opportunities, in which your life may be full of havoc and pandemonium, you must always remember that life was never created so that we could exist in a world of complete equilibrium and idealism. 
Savour the chaos, devour the pain. It makes you a stronger person than you have ever been. At the same time, engulf yourself in the small things which make you happy, enjoy every second of every moment which gives you happiness or peace. 
So let your heart hold fast, for this too, shall pass. :)

'Jo na jaane, haq ki taakat,
Rab naa deve usko himmat,
Hum mann ke dariya mei doobe,
Kaisi naiyya? Kya manjhdaar?
Haq,
Bass kari o yaar,
Ilmu bass kari o yaar'

- Bullehshah

I hope my return is welcomed back in the blogosphere, I promise, I shall try my very best to regular.
All my love :*

Friday, February 22, 2013

Kabhi Kabhi. :)

Pre-exam times are pretty awkward. You spend hours and hours mugging up history and then crying over physics and math, after that in short 15 minute break of yours when you just sit idle to empty your mind could actually be the moment when you think the most. And, think the most about life in general.
The most random things come up in your head! You start comparing your life to sitcoms, you start unnecessarily speaking to yourself, you start to scribble absent mindedly and then suddenly remember you've been scribbling all over your chemistry notes.  
These short periods of procrastination beckon you to ACTUALLY look over your life! And the first thing which comes up in your (my) mind is, 'What the hell have I been doing?'
Whirlwind of flashbacks, moments of utter embarrassment, urge to slap yourself across your cheek? Yeah, happens all the time.
You know, sometimes in life you don't always have to be smart. We need to be silly sometimes. All of us have some baggage with us, be it emotional baggage or physical baggage. But, we must carry this baggage on as part of life. And, I am onto trying to do so. 
Situations in our lives are like glass. Sometimes, you need to accept a situation when it is broken. And, try not to fix it at all times because it may hurt you and even if it is fixed it would never be the same. Sooner your accept it's gone, the sooner you prepare to start new. :)


On a lighter note, here are some pictures. Hiiiii! :D
    

I don't like cats. One bit. This one stood there as I ate my lunch. :|


I LOVE MACAROONS. <3


From my verandah back in Kolkata. :D


This was one pretty light. :)


Strawberry 'something I cannot remember'! :o Heaven. <3


During Durga Puja. Happy happy times. :D

Monday, November 19, 2012

Assault.

Hello mortals, how you doin'?
Well, again. It's been long since my last post, eh? It's hard to write without inspiration. Story of my life. :\
But hey! I'm back again. With inspiration, with a message and a heavy heart.
Go ahead, read. :)

I walked to the main road with a bag pack full of chemistry manuals which now began to tire my shoulders. Well, doing a Masters degree in chemistry isn't a cakewalk, I woke up in the middle of the night murmuring about various atoms and particles. It's a hard life.
I stayed in a girl's hostel which was 15 minutes away from the college. Generally, I never got out of college after 6.30 PM, but due to the final term papers. I had some finishing up to do in the library.
The sky was in a shade of violet, ample stars were on display tonight. I smiled to myself and walked briskly.

Streets of Bangalore get slightly unsafe during the evenings. I walked on the pavement and noticed at least 1 guy from each corner staring their eyes out at me. I hung my head low and walked on, faster by each second. As I walked on, I could hear footsteps right behind me. Too afraid to turn back, I began to run and I heard the footsteps running right behind me.
A hand held my shoulder. The man tested my patience for long, I couldn't hold back. I turned, and felt a sharp blinding pain on my forehead, with blood trickling down.

*****

I woke up shortly after the event. In an unknown dark rooms which smelt of alcohol. I felt dizzy and reached out for someone.
And right then, my hand fell on a man who sat in a chair beside the bed in deep slumber. 
He awoke in a jiffy and a looked at me with a smug smile.
As he stood up, the door opened with the entrance of two other men as well. 
My heart trembled in fear, an involuntary flow of tears ran down my eyes continuously.
The strong hand grasped both my arms strongly and my clothing was mercilessly torn off as I kept on screaming, shouting and crying for help.
I was pinned on the bed by the two frailer men and saw the big man reaching for my underwear. I kick, I shiver, I shout even more. No answer, just a thrash across my cheek.
Once I lay on the bed, naked and scarred all over. The gruesome grins and laughs of the men as I was tortured. As I cried and pleaded.
A thrash across my face would shut me up temporarily as the tears rolled down my face with the forceful penetration. The burns down under. My dignity shattered.
The sudden whiff of morphine surrounded my nose. I fainted.

She didn't wake up next morning.
She couldn't handle all the merciless torture she was put through. She was burnt down to flames the very next day. 
Why? Just like all of us, she had a dream, a family, a group of friends and hopes from her life. And this is how she goes away. By a group of drunk men who have to take out their sexual desires on a young girl.
This was crime. Sexual assault is a crime.

STOP RAPE NOW.

Tuesday, September 11, 2012

Well, hello there!

Aren't I ashamed of re appearing on my blog after a 5 month hiatus? Well yes, I am.
But, it's pretty strange that I always end up blogging the most during exams and study leave. (During free time only, mind you. :P) If you go a few paces back into my blog, you'll see that I blogged the most during February (Final exams) and now, I'm back again during my September half yearlies. *grin*
There's a lot to tell you all about, but there's so much that I'd just save it on for later. :)
Anyhow, coming back to what I'm here for, here's a little write up :D


Everything's a perfect picture
Everything's a soulful melody
Everything's amazing
Isn't it?
Says the Perfect, and you better believe.

But, that's only your side of the story. For you haven't seen more. You're blinded by your plush carpets and posh lives. You've barely seen anything at all.
Come over, look through their eyes and you'll see.
That the world isn't privileged enough as they dance to your whims and fancies.
Says the Imperfect, and you better believe.

Hello, I am perfect. I'd guide you through this journey.
I'll take you step by step into my world.
Green grass, blue skies, fresh water and peaceful smiles.
Don't you wish for a future so docile?
Says the Perfect, and you better believe.

See, that's where they lack! Their world is nothing but a fairy tale.
Where's the reality? Have you shown them what actually happens?
Of course you have not. You aren't ready enough to face these adversities with strength.
Oh perfect, you're weak and frail.
Says the Imperfect, and you better believe.

Imperfection, that's all you've seen. 
Tears, sorrow and misery,
Walk into my world, not only is it peace,
It's also hope for a future, a future with happiness and ease.
Oh wake up, you coward. Why do you influence them negatively?
Do not turn them into what you have turned out to be.
Says the Perfect, and you better believe.

And they quarreled on and on.
Keep on quarreling till date.
I stood there and witnessed their argument. 
Both sides making fairly equal sense.
But, I haven't resorted to a conclusion as of yet.
As I'd rather hear them.
Hear them go on and on about who's right and who's wrong.
Says the Human, and you better believe.

Comment, follow. :D
Much love, 
Joyee. :)